Dear Anonymous,

If I am sitting across the table from you and cannot hear or understand your words, you need to speak up and enunciate. I suggest, going forward, that you whisper to everyone. You see, when you whisper, I can understand every word you are saying from 2 miles away. And I would like to know how you can achieve a whisper that is so clear and loud, but cannot speak clearly in a normal speaking voice. How does this happen? Do you practice this annoying skill? Are you proud of it?

Any efforts you can make to ensure that you no longer annoy the poop out of me is greatly appreciated.
LOVE, PAWS,
Ashlee